Merry Christmas

 

Brightspots #5

 

 

Two Large Plastic Garbage Bags

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in awhile a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag."

"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the Lambeau Field parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes.' "

"Well, that seems only fair," laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know, not everybody pays."

 

                                     

                                                 

 

Typhoid Mary

“Typhoid Mary” was a real historical person who became notorious in the early 1900s. She was an Irish woman named Mary Mallon who immigrated to the United States in the 1880s. Though she had no symptoms of typhoid fever, she carried the bacteria in her blood and could pass it on to other people. Because no doctor could convince her that this was true and she didn’t feel sick, she insisted on working as a cook. During her career, she infected at least 51 people, three of whom died, before she was isolated in enforced quarantine for the last decades of her life.

Uplifting Wed. # 140 via Pinterest